I've started reading The Secret History of Wonder Woman by Jill Lepore and just the title took me back to my childhood and also feels relevant in this Trumpian world and moment where we're holding a few men accountable for their sexual harassment and assault.
This is the one:
https://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/24/books/the-secret-history-of-wonder-woman-by-jill-lepore.html
It is a year after the Women's March and we've endured much of what we expected from our tiny handed Cheeto in Chief, more of the same sexism and misogyny along with the demand that we accept it by way of him bragging about such and being given the nation's highest office by the Electoral College. I found it interesting that Wonder Woman became an icon in this moment, then the movie came out- and on further investigation I was surprised to find that she has always been there.
I have a somewhat conflicted memory of this particular character in the first place and that mixes with my current knowledge and her resurgence in popularity.
On the one hand, I'm seeing her now as a feminist icon- strong, righteous (I mean her weapon is the TRUTH! Right?), chosen to lead. Also though, as much as I want to see the movie, the actress, Gadot, has been exposed as a settler colonialist cheering the deaths of Palestinians. She conflates terrorists and civilians and celebrates murder- I might give her a pass for not understanding if she hadn't been a soldier. I don't think the film should have been banned as some demanded, but I think we must discuss that and compare and contrast it with the character she plays and how we want our world to be.
Moving on. . .
As a child, I was a tomboy. That moniker seems outdated now, but I'll use it for a point of reference. I hated dresses because I wanted to play soccer and kickball and hang on the monkey bars without everyone seeing my underwear. I'd have played with anyone, but usually the things I like to do were dominated by the boys. I was comfortable with them, they liked to do what I liked to do. I never really remember feeling out of place with regard to clothes or activities in the under 10 age group I'm thinking about right now, even in the religious school I attended in Indiana in the mid 80's. And then Wonder Woman will happen and you remember when your world got a little smaller.
In sports and other games, I had no trouble joining in, even being very introverted/shy. When the group of boys wanted to change it up and play superheroes, things got a little less easy, but I rolled with it. I didn't watch the shows or read the comics, so I had a limited knowledge of who I wanted to be. I totally relied on their advice, which wasn't so much advice as unimaginative pigeonholing. Why do I have to be a girl when you can't really shoot lasers out of your eyes. . . ? I always went into the choosing of the characters with some excitement- I mean there are guys who can be invisible, climb walls, shoot fire- whichever ones were popular in the 80's, I can't remember and I still don't read those comics- but it was incredibly fun to think about being able to do any of these things. Swinging on the bars felt like flying- how would it be to just take off into the clouds. Who would I be? I could be anything I wanted, this was pretend. Nothing was off the table in my mind. I didn't give it a second thought. One guy always had to be Green Lantern. I'm sure he had a good reason- we all let him have that by default. When my much anticipated moment came, I was chosen to be Wonder Woman. Fine. I had no idea what was so great about her. Nothing, I thought. She has a rope and she's in her underwear. And she's the only girl, like me. I should have guessed. GREAT! The first time probably wasn't so bad honestly, but it became a pattern. One I came to dread. I was always the girl. I never got to try anyone else and I disliked the inevitable "choice" of character for me. Can't we go back to kickball? But I had a friend who wasn't so athletically inclined, so I felt bad about not wanting to do this thing he liked better. I remember that disappointment well- you think all possibilities are wide open, you can be ANYTHING you want. But not really. It's an illusion. Your bright, sunny, wide open world is now a narrow, dark hallway. The game is rigged and you really have no choice. I had no idea how close to the truth I was at that point in life at just 7 or 8 years old.
Melodramatic? Maybe if it were one incident. Women continually endure things like this throughout our lives and the balance of them can be soul crushing. I'm sure I'm not the only one. This is simply one of the first times I remember it happening. It's not a bad memory necessarily. I wonder if anyone from the time remembers it differently. Memory is a funny thing.
Some 33 years later, I'm finally embracing Wonder Woman. I may even love her. She came to the US to fight for peace, justice and women's rights! How did this even exist then- in the 80's or in the 40's or now for that matter? I can't wait to find out.
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