school rant central

I should have started out by saying that I apologize to any teachers, I probably don't know the half of what your big issues are to deal with. This may make me look pretty ignorant to teachers and administrators in the trenches. This is only the perspective from where I, one parent, am sitting at this moment in time. 


I'll start with a link and status from FB this AM. 

I had more to say, so I'll blog.

http://www.handwritingforkids.com/handwrite/manuscript/texts/index.htm

As I sit making worksheets I'm wondering A) should I have homeschooled and B) what is she doing all day in Kindergarten 'cause it ain't practicing handwriting step by step like I the "old days."

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I still feel good about our decision not to send to kids to preschool, but if they are going to expect one to be able to write well and almost read, they should REQUIRE x # years of preschool and make good public ones available. Insert suggestion to invest in our own kids instead of the Israeli Occupation.

And once we sort that out, let's bring music back. I used to love that "break" where you get to sing, play recorder and put on plays and such. I probably learned something about music inadvertently; if nothing else we got introduction and appreciation. Aside from that, I can't see justifying dropping it. Aren't there studies that show that music is good for math skills? It's sad that that won't be a part of my childrens' school experience. I mean, why not replace computer class with music class, unless they are typing or programming or something. I mean, we are kind of to the point that computers are so ubiquitous that teaching kids to use them (I'm not actually sure what goes on in her class) seems unnecessary. Maybe I am way off on that point in some circumstances, but I think music would be a better use of the time, especially if kids have any access to computers, smart boards, and iPads in class.

And don't get me started on school breakfast/lunch. Too late. :) Let's start with breakfast. They talk about reduced lunch and the policy of kids not going hungry. Yes, I think that's good, but when breakfast is a pop tart or super bun (whatever that is- I'm imagining a Honey Bun covered in icing...) I don't think you're helping out all that much. I did notice a few less of those options this month than last, so maybe it just takes them a bit to get organized?

Now, lunch and the potato problem. Yikes. Let me start by listing the "ways with potatoes": oven baked fries, parslied potatoes, baked potato, potato rounds, whipped potatoes, and of course sweet potato casserole (which I'm guessing means marshmallow and brown sugar?). Not so bad, right (except for the last one for which they could sub a baked sweet potato with a little cinnamon...)? 

I do see some positives. French fries and deep fried options don't seem to be there. I'll give them that. But when you are replacing a green veggie with a starch, that is a problem. At least I think so. Maybe it is a failure on the parents' part that a Kindergartener won't choose the healthy option independently? Or maybe elementary students shouldn't have so much choice? My thought is that even if we eat healthy food at home and they like it and eat it, the broccoli, turnip greens, peas and green beans I've seen at various schools are soggy, straight from a can, salt-less and flavorless. I probably would let them choose the main course and set the rest- or let them choose main course and have a choice of "equal" veg-  peas or green beans, broccoli or mixed veg, etc.

Maybe school lunch is a rite of passage and I should just relax. I can accept that because I think we do a good job at home and enjoy family meals and all the rest. Also, there is the money issue. Budget, budget, budget. Federal government and everyone else is living on credit and borrowed time. I know having Jamie Oliver* come and cook all of the meals would not be in the realm of possiblity, but could we demand more, as in a team of nutritionists or something, than one person who may or may not have a science or nutrition background (I don't know) set menus for the entire county or state or however that's done?

*Jamie Oliver reference- His show is  Food Revolution. And here is another can of worms- was there mutiny, did the healthy changes stick, was it real, etc. I think there was a lot in there about how school lunches are set up and how they have to use what they are given...most of which I've forgotten, but I remember coming away with how it is a racket. I thought the premise was good and was hoping it and the revolution would take off.

And in case you are wondering, yes, I am for banning vending machines with soda, sweets and junk also but I guess that's another issue...

Having said all of that, I still think my husband and I made the right choice in schooling for now, despite all of this- what may seem like- complaining from me. I'm an introvert and so I consider myself just more observant, not a big complainer. I notice things. I guess I should have said that when people used to ask me why I didn't talk. Sometimes these observations bother me. Anyway, as a result of our looking at all the school options, I plan to be involved because I think it's as important as if I homeschooled as to how much the kids gets out of it. I guess we can always switch things up if necessary. I still feel the pros and cons are pretty equal either way.

This isn't really the post I set out to write, but I won't delete it. It is what it is, as it is with me.

Me, the stay at home mom?

I should note that this was started when I gave my notice at the end of May. I almost deleted it, but instead I've added some and tried to make it more readable. I guess I'll hit post now.

I probably should have numbered this since it doesn't flow all that well. Kind of like my working mom mind. Here goes:

So I've taken the first step to becoming a stay at home mom. I've given my notice. The day I did, it was all I could do to keep the chunks down. I didn't know how everyone would react- and didn't want to know really. It's not like announcing a pregnancy where you know you have a limited time to tell people before they just find out and are insulted that you didn't say anything. And by the way, I apologize if you are finding this news out only my reading this and are in any way offended. :) I guess I think most of the time, people don't care and I don't want to find out that they don't care by telling them and seeing how underwhelmed they are. I generally like flying under the radar. No one expects a whole lot, you come, you go. Very low fuss and low stress as far as fuss-related stress goes.

I often wonder how life at home will be. Up until now, we've left things undone and we've said, "that's ok, both of us work" and so there's no blame. Now, if things don't get done, it's going to be my fault. Also, up to now, we've shared household tasks pretty well. We complain about the way each other does or doesn't do things, but there is that understanding there that since both of us are away from the house the same amount of time, we've both got to be doing everything for this to work. I do understand and agree that I'll pick up more responsibilities; I just hope things don't get out of hand... Also,  I'm nowhere near as confident in the kitchen is my husband. Will I ever get comfortable? At least maybe now I'll be able to find stuff- anything-  if I'm the one putting it there. Will I end up doing nothing? Will I pick up do at home jobs (yeah, right, I've been searching for this for years and now they will fall from the sky!)? I know people say stay at home motherhood is a full time job, but,- it's not that I don't believe them, I do- how full exactly when I'm used to doing a million and one things, remembering a million and one things, being here and there and everywhere at work and home? It probably won't be less crazy, but different crazy, realistically. I'm kind of hoping for less crazy, though. I could do with that for a bit.

How much of my worth is tied up in work? I didn't think much before, since I don't have a high-powered job or anything close. But when I stop earning a paycheck I wonder if I'll feel like I have to ask permission all the time or if I'll think less of myself. Worse, what if my husband thinks less of me. I don't think he will, but I've never been there. There is what other people think, too, but that matters less. I hope. I feel good about my reasons for quitting work. I want to be involved in their education in a way I wouldn't have been able to before. Who am I kidding- I just want to see them! I keep thinking of things I want to learn and go back to school for and possible career changes. Will that stop, I wonder? There is the fringe benefit of my husband and I getting to see a bit more of each other. It's not like I don't want to work anymore, though I may be a tad burned out at the moment...

I'm reading I Don't Know How She Does It. Good timing. It would have depressed me (or infuriated me), though, if I'd read it before I knew my quitting was possible (the main character ends up quitting, surprisingly). Or maybe it would have made me feel better that others feel some of the working mom guilt (even if the character is fictional). The things she mentions about being embarrassed about not knowing what your kids' favorite things are at all times, guilt over missing so much of their babyhood, the chaos during the times you do see them- as though they cram weeks' worth of emotion (the whole spectrum) and need for attention into such a small amount of time- and then the guilt over wishing for "me time" because of the intensity and acting out. Another bit that was so familiar- the main character makes mental lists all the time. I do this every night! Random things that need doing with the house, things to pick up at the store, birthday plans, cleaning, long-term, short-term, recurring items... I've never done what she did with the buying baked goods and bashing them up to make them look homemade, though. I just opt for feeling guilty bringing store bought stuff or feel guilty for bringing nothing and hope no one wants to discuss what everyone brought...

On a larger scale, I wonder how many years I'm setting back women's equality? Especially if a man takes my place? Maybe that's overly dramatic, but I've seen a lot of women do what I just did and what if that continues? I can't say this was a huge concern, but it ran through my mind more than once. I tend to think me taking up space here in the "world of work" (thanks 8th grade careers class for that bit of vocabulary) is progress in a (cheesy) way. Anyway, education leads to both better conditions for women in general and women working outside the home. If fewer of us work outside the home, maybe fewer will be educated and we'll be undervalued ...again. Hopefully we've reached a baseline of education where we realize that men's and women's lives are equally valuable, whatever our choice after the education, unlike in some parts of the world where only boys are vaccinated, educated, and valued in general.

 I will miss the people I've worked with past and present, the multicultural education (for me) and ever changing face of the lab, the pride of knowing you do something well and the challenge of trying. Goodbye to Gyro Thursdays, random beeping of freezers, parking in Mongolia, giant brownies,  dodging the hackey sack on the way to the bathroom, mouse surgery with good conversation, the smell of bacteria in the morning... There are obviously things I'll miss more than others :) but overall, I'm ready!

kids say...

A few kid things before I forget to write them down...


My daughter is at the stage of 1000 questions- age 4.
Yes, I'd guess that's probably literally thousands.

The most common by far are:
-"Who gave you/me/us that?" - for quite possibly every toy and object in the house
-"What does (fill in the first 100 animals that come to mind) eat?" - I have to admit I've made some answers up...
-"What are we on?" - As in road. I imagine she'll know how to get anywhere in a one or two hour radius from the house, which is more than I could say for myself until at least college!

Next is 'how do you like me, mom?' The correct answer is a lot. I answered her the first time that I love her (I do, that's a good answer, right?) and so the next time she asked, she said, 'you don't like me, you love me?' I said yes, afterward regretting it because that sounds like I don't like her. She continued over the week to ask do you like me or how do you like me, so I said I like you a lot, more than anything, I love you. She eventually told me and her dad that I like you a lot means I love you. That was pretty neat to watch her sort through this problem and come up with something that makes a lot of sense.

Thankfully, "why" is not popular at this time! Can't wait for that one! :)

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R is two.

At the doctor's, both kids had to get shots and R went first. He was crying and making his sister nervous, so the nurse explained that he was just a little boy, but that she'll be fine, etc and in the middle of sobbing, R yells - I'm - not - little - I'm - big !! The nurse nearly hit the floor laughing.

When I punish him or something doesn't go his way, he tells me he's a little baby, which means he wants extra hugs and kisses, to be carried, etc.

Another pretty entertaining thing about him is when he's describing something in a few sentences (a toy needs a battery, for instance), he looks so serious and expressions cross his face like he's defending his thesis or something.


They are both in a dance class now. R's is mom and tot, so that is interesting... S really likes hers. I wasn't sure if she liked it at first, but maybe she was worn out. When you ask her about it, she smiles shyly. I catch her pointing her toes or doing a little ballet move sometimes. Last week, she told me she was going to show Daddy what she learned, so I think she likes it. R doesn't follow directions as well as the little girls in his class, but he is always ready to go first, unlike the girls (and S at age 2). They all get tired and lose interest at times. R didn't ask me if he could go to sleep during his second class, though. Progress!

The kids like to play together a little now. They will throw a ball to each other, play with their nurf bowling set, or play more abstract things like they're cooking or driving. Most of the time they are "driving" to pick up food at McD's- they always ask me "burgers or nuggets"- that's always our question to them when we go. I try and add 3 or 4 extra things to their "list". They usually remember it all, too!

The kids have always had good verbal skills and were well above the recommended number of words, sentences, etc. This is good and I have always enjoyed it... but they have recently added a wide variety of cuss words, which is mortifying. Of course, as my luck or Murphy's Law would have it, they most like to practice these in worship services. I'm sure everyone thinks I must say these things every other word! Oh well. Maybe they won't be as interested in them when other kids discover them. Or other parents will blame me for their kids discovering them...


We were watching Lord of the Rings and wondering if R was paying attention or if he'd be ok. S was fine with it, but R calls Gollum the bald monkey and doesn't want to watch 'the bald monkey show'.

Similarly, S used to call Yoda a monkey when she was about 2. In a scene where he gets thrown backward and flies through the air, she said "uh-oh monkey".

kids say...

I should really write more of the kids' sayings down. I'm going to forget all of it. I guess this and emailing myself stuff is the best I can do now. I hope it will end up in a baby book one day.

I should really submit this one to Parents or something. Classic.
I took my daughter potty at a bridal shower I went to recently and was busy keeping her "on task" and trying to keep her from snooping around. As she poked her head in the shower, she asked when Lori was going to take her shower or if she was going to take the shower after she opened the presents or something like that. My kids' language have always been really good for whatever reason, but you forget sometimes how hard it must be to get some of the meanings we take for granted. Just makes you wonder when you say things and they are silent what mental image they are getting.

She recently slammed the door on her finger and the nail came off. She told her Grandma that she'd grow a new one and show it to her.

My son calls dryer sheets, 'dryer sheeps'. That one's so cute that I haven't corrected him yet. I wonder if he thinks of sheep when he says it.

He also alerts us to dirty diapers with an unsolicited "I not pooping!" if you look at him.

The kids both "call" their aunt on play phones and sometimes we let them do the real thing. A week or so before his 2nd birthday, my husband let him do this and he held an entire little conversation. He sounded so grown up. He'd say, "I'm going to be 2, Ginger," and answered questions like a big boy.

And pay attention when they say they are going to "play deal." It means they are going to shred a piece of paper or preferably (for them) tissues (or an entire box worth).

Playing "I know" is fun for all- yell at the top of your lungs when the vacuum is on. My husband used to do that, so that one may be genetic.