Every woman knows these things.
Every man needs to read this book: Rage Becomes Her
This is so vivid for me. I didn't see myself in the supporting role in ET, Flight of the Navigator or Neverending Story. Being a tomboy, which is kind of a stupid name for it, I was forced to grapple with things like what's wrong with me? and do I really want to be a boy? As it turned out, I did want to be a girl, I just didn't understand why adults felt uncomfortable with everything I liked. I just chalked it up to adults being adults - they did so much that I felt had larger meaning but I was at a loss for understanding anything but the immediate and tangible. I still don't understand their discomfort. I did eventually, slowly, painfully, conform mostly to gender norms, but I hope that didn't entirely crush my spirit. I wish I still had a child's obliviousness sometimes so that I could press on with what I wanted instead of giving others what they expect from me.
There is a picture of me at age 5 or 6 wearing a pink frilly dress and clunky brown ET shoes, representing a concession. My mom was extremely disappointed that I wouldn't wear dresses to school like all the other girls. I unsuccessfully fought it every Sunday. She was so happy to have a girl as her first child so she could dress me up. I was thinking only that I couldn't play soccer, run and hang on the monkey bars if i wore those things, not about gender norms or anyone's expectations. That was before I learned not to stand up for myself, I guess... I was allowed to wear pants except to church, it just came with the baggage that i was making someone unhappy for reasons i couldn't comprehend. It seemed completely arbitrary to me, so I fought for the functional.
quote on girls' cultural irrelevance:
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9465940-every-girl-learns-in-varying-degrees-to-filter-herself-through
quote on living in the cracks of a world made for men:
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9576684-as-women-we-are-continuously-told-to-live-in-the
No comments:
Post a Comment